Promises Broken Series: A House Divided
by writermarie
Summary: Part One of Series: Can a house divided (both on the job and privately) remain standing?


A HOUSE DIVIDED

**by Marie Rossier**

A deeply divided House of Representatives is not what's bothering President Bartlet...  
  
**DISCLAIMER: I claim no ownership or rights to these characters. My imagination is simply borrowing them for a short period of time. I give all credit to Aaron S and his staff  
****RATING: PG-13  
****CATEGORY: Jed/Abbey  
****SPOILERS: Everything up to 17 People**

*****

**Part 1**

It was only 10:40 in the morning and already President Josiah Bartelt decided it had been a long day. He sat at his desk, noticing how the sun streamed into the Oval Office, creating an atmosphere brighter than his own mood right then. As Charlie, his personal assistant, recited off item after item on the schedule, the words just jumbled together. Bartlet absently tapped his pen on his desk and stared blankly out of the window.

"Sir? Everything ok?" Charlie asked, pulling Bartlet back into the room from his wandering mind.

"Huh? Oh, yes, why do you ask?"

"Well, sir, you're not usually distracted like this."

"Yes. It's been a wearing morning, Charlie" Bartlet responded.

Charlie gave a small smile. "Well, the First Lady returns home today. That should put you in a better mood, sir. She's been gone for quite a while now. Between her southern states tour and her trip to Europe—it's been..."

"Too long." agreed Bartlet, quietly. "Ok, Charlie, what's next?"

"Well, I did just go through you schedule, sir. However, you weren't exactly listening." Charlie replied with sly grin.

Bartlet looked up at Charlie. There was a time that Charlie never would have teased him like that. The President smiled up at Charlie, happy to see that his assistant had grown quite comfortable with his role and position.

"You know, Charlie, you best be careful. I could get Mrs. Landingham in here to give you `what for' for making fun of me." Bartlet chided.

"Sir, Mrs. Landingham only comes in here to give you `what for'."

"You're right. So, really, what's next?"

"You have a staff meeting in about 5 minutes. After that, you have a lunch meeting with Leo."

A knock at the door interrupted the two men. Mrs. Landingham entered the Oval Office. "Mr. President, the senior staff members are here and ready for the meeting," she announced.

"Thank you, Mrs. Landingham." Bartlet replied. "Oh, Mrs. Landingham?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I'll have you know that Charlie has been picking on me."

"Really? That's good to hear, sir." she replied, deadpan.

Bartlet sighed and smiled a bit wider, "Right. Send them in, please."

"Yes, sir." Mrs. Landingham said as she walked back out of the office to get the senior staff.

"Do you need me to stay, sir?" Charlie inquired.

"No, Charlie. Grab a long lunch or something. I'll see you after my meeting with Leo."

"Thank you, Mr. President." With that, Charlie, too, was gone.

Bartlet only had a moment of silence to himself before he heard the typical din of his senior staff. Sometimes he wondered to himself if what he had was a staff or a group of overly intellectual children. This thought crossed his mind once again as he overheard his staff starting the meeting before they were even fully into the Oval Office. There were at least three conversations going on at one time as they filed into the office. However, as usual, Toby and Sam's exchange seemed to rise above the rest. The Communications Director and his Deputy were famous for their passionate discussions—whether anyone else was in the room or not was irrelevant.

"Toby..." Sam started.

"Sam..." Toby mimicked Sam.

"Toby, we need to.."

"Sam," Toby interrupted, sounding more irritated now. "We don't need to do anything. You, on the other hand need to.."

"Boys and Girls! I think the bell has rung and it's time for us to begin our work!" Bartlet called out above the noise.

The group looked up from their respective chats and realized that they were before the President. All conversation stopped mid sentence and each member of the staff took a seat.

"Wonderful." Bartlet said, sarcastically, but gently. "Now, can someone raise their hand to begin our discussion for the day?"

Leo raised his hand.

"Leo, for God's sake." Bartlet said, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, Mr. President. I think we're ready to start now."

"Good, let's begin. What's first?"

"It looks as though we're having more problems with the education package in the House again." Leo stated.

"What's going on now?" Bartlet sighed.

"Sir?" Sam jumped in. "While all members of the House feel as though reform does need to happen in our education system, not all agree with our position on the issue. The feel we're being too soft on teacher and school performance standards. Republicans believe that the tuition incentive package is simply a governmental bribe to young men and women to take on a job for a few years and then bail out after their `sentence' is over."

"Who do we have working on this?" Bartlet asked his staff.

"I am." Toby answered.

"And I am." Sam jumped in.

"Sam!" Toby countered, in a tone that indicated, "Don't mess with me." "Sir," Toby addressed the President, "I have been having discussions with key members in the House, on both sides of the fence. Just give me a little more time."

"And Sam?" the President asked.

Sam began to answer, but Toby continued, "Sam thinks that he should have a hand in this, but I have informed him...repeatedly, I might add...that he needs to stay out of this one."

"Why?" Sam implored.

"Not now, Sam." Toby said.

Bartlet, while intrigued at this little melodrama that was unfolding, decided to nip it in the bud, at least for now. "Ok, you two. Toby, you keep working on it. Keep me posted, all right?"

"Yes, sir." Toby answered. He shot a look at Sam that said, "We'll finish this later."

"What's next?" Bartlet asked.

"The press is asking some questions about Mrs. Bartlet's return, sir." C.J. offered.

"This is pressing news, C.J.? I would think that the reporters would have something more relevant to cover." Bartlet's tone revealed mild irritation.

"Well, sir, she's been gone for a while and it was just some standard questions."

"Yes, I know she's been gone for a while, and we'll all be happy when she returns." the President snapped back.

There was an awkward pause in the Oval Office.

Bartlet took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm sorry, C.J."

"It's all right, Mr. President. I simply gave the corps the scheduled itinerary for her trip. There were also a few inquiries about the Education package. Other than that, a slow day, overall."

"Wonderful. Anything else?" Bartlet asked.

The staff looked around a bit uneasily at one another. Finally, Leo answered, "No, sir. Except you and I are scheduled for a lunch meeting."

"Fine. Thank you all."

"Of course, sir. Thank you, Mr. President." Leo replied.

With that, the rest of the staff stood and started to exit the room. Before Leo left, Bartlet called out to him, "Leo, can you give me a moment before I meet you in the residence dining room for our meeting?"

"Sure." Leo said, closing the door behind him.

The staff began their trek back to the West Wing to continue their day's work. They walked together silently until Sam stopped in the hallway. "What's going on with the President, Leo?"

"He's been running ragged since the State of the Union, Sam. He's probably just a little tired."

"Yeah....ok." Sam said. The group started walking again. "He just seemed a little more annoyed than usual."

Toby walked slightly ahead of the pack, "Maybe it's because of the display you put on in there."

"Now, come on, Toby.." Sam began.

At this point, Leo stopped in the hallway, "Listen you two, if you can't kiss and make up I'm going to have to let the President sit down with you and give you one of his infamous lectures on peace and harmony."

Toby simply continued on to his office. Leo looked at Sam, "Whatever is wrong, Seaborn, fix it. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." Sam replied.

"Good, now I need to do one or two things before my meeting with the President. I'll meet up with all of you later this afternoon." And, with that, Leo left, too.

Sam stood there in the hallway, with C.J. and Josh staring at him.

"What?" Sam asked, innocently.

"Well, Sam. What is it this time? Did you forget to dot an "i" or cross a "t"?" Josh teased.

`Very funny, Joshua." Sam retorted. Sam thought to himself that his friends and colleagues could never understand.

"I'm just saying, the two of you have really been at each other's throats lately." Josh said.

"Yeah, well, what about you and Donna?" Sam shot back. "The two of you are at each other all the time!"

"Yeah...well...we're not talking about me and Donna."

"Well, let's talk about THAT, shall we? It's ok for the two of you to be at it all the time? Why is that, Josh? You know, you act like an old married couple or something!" Sam stated, glaring at Josh for a moment. Then, he turned on his heel and stormed off.

Josh stood there is silence, unable to think of an appropriate comeback. He looked over to C.J. for assistance. Surely, the Press Secretary, known for her acerbic sarcasm, could come up with something fitting this occasion. However, all C.J. was able to do was watch them exchange little digs back and forth—like some twisted and amusing tennis match. She stood there, trying to hide the smirk creeping across her face.

"C.J?!" Josh cried. "You're supposed to help me here!"

"Josh," C.J. said, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I'd love to help, but he's got a point."

Before Josh could reply, C.J. was gone, too.

"Yeah, well...!" Josh called out loudly, "Shows how much you know!"

This stopped everyone in earshot in his or her tracks. Suddenly, Donnatella Moss, Josh's assistant, was beside him. She leaned over and whispered, "Josh, what is going on with you? Did you not drink your coffee again this morning? I know how grumpy you get without it."

"Oh, be quiet, Donna!" Josh whispered back, agitated. He tried to exit the area with as much dignity as he could, but with dozens of pairs of eyes watching him, there wasn't much hope for that.

"I'm gonna get you started on decaf!" Donna called out as Josh slammed into his office.

Chief of Staff Leo McGarry grabbed a large stack of papers off of his desk to bring to his meeting with the President. Knowing full well that they would barely make a dent in the pile, Leo stuffed them into a folder and headed out the door. As he exited his office, his assistant, Margaret was standing in front of the door.

"Damn it, Margaret!" Leo yelped. "Don't you ever think of knocking?"

Margaret stood there; eyes wide open, yet remaining innocent. "I was just going to when you swung the door open and started to tear out of here."

"I have a meeting with the President. What do you need?"

"Nothing, uh, nothing." she replied, hesitantly.

"Margaret," Leo said warily, "I don't have time for games today. So, either tell me what you need right this second or I am leaving."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Well, I'm fine, Margaret. Thank you for your concern." said, a bit sarcastically. He paused for just a moment, noticing Margaret's disappointed face. " Now, if you'll excuse me, you know how the President hates for me to be late. And, if I have to get one of his lectures because I am late, there will be hell to pay for you."

"Right." Margaret replied. "Ok, I guess I'll catch up with you later."

Leo made his way out of the office door, "You can count on it. After all, last time I checked, you still work for me."

As Leo turned the corner, Margaret remained at the office door and said quietly to herself, "Yes, Leo, for now."

Leo rushed through the offices of the West Wing, praying that he had given the President enough time to take care of whatever he needed, yet hoping that it wasn't too long so that Bartlet would have to sit and wait for him to show up for their meeting. If there was one thing that Jed Bartlet hated, it was to be kept waiting. After knowing him for over 40 years, Leo knew this as gospel truth, and not something to be tested. He had heard the lecture countless times—so much so that he could probably recite it verbatim. He could hear the words echo in his head, "Do you understand that I do not have the time or the inclination to sit on my ass and wait while you get your crap together?" Because of the duration of their friendship, these words didn't sting too much for Leo anymore, at least compared to the other staffers in the West Wing. Nowadays, the words were more of an annoyance than anything else. But, Leo, being the true friend that he was, would take them if need be, by sitting there quietly, nodding and agreeing with the Commander-in-Chief. While Leo could usually read Bartlet quite well, lately it had become more of a challenge. Perhaps it was because they were so wrapped up in all of the red tape of their positions. Leo wasn't sure. However, Leo could always tell when something was gnawing at Jed Bartlet—and recently, something was definitely mulling around in the President's complex mind. The Chief of Staff was sure that sooner or later he would discover what it was—he simply hoped it would be sooner rather than later—it was always easier that way. Yet, somehow, he knew that things rarely were easy these days.

In the residence, the President tried to get himself out of the rotten mood that had overtaken him. He knew that Leo could read him like a book, and the President was in no mood for the inquisition that would be forthcoming if he kept up this behavior. He just needed to get through the next few hours...the next few days...

"Mr. President, I'm sorry if I kept you waiting," Leo said as he entered the room.

Bartlet turned to see his best friend walking in and dumping a whole pile of papers on the table. He noticed that Leo looked a little rushed and harried. "Leo? What's the rush?" Bartlet asked.

"Well, I didn't want to keep you waiting, sir." Leo said as he tried to make some sort of order out of the stacks of papers he had dropped.

"Oh, well it's not a big deal." Bartlet replied.

Leo stopped shuffling the papers to look up at the President. "Oh, really? So, all of those lectures we've received about keeping you waiting was what exactly? Fun and Games?" he said, with a small grin.

"I don't lecture," Bartlet replied, sheepishly. "I simply like to make my point in a strong and direct way."

"Right." Leo responded and began sorting through the papers once again. Taking a seat at the table, he asked without looking up, "What's for lunch today, anyway?"

"I have no idea." Bartlet answered. "Any preferences?"

"Nope."

"What is all of this, Leo?" Bartlet inquired, looking at all the papers strewn across the table.

"Documents we need to review for this afternoon's security briefing."

"Wonderful." Bartlet sighed. "Leo, do you remember how we used to be able to just sit and eat during our lunch hour? Do you remember when we had a lunch hour?"

"Vaguely, sir." Leo said. "So, are you ready?"

"No." Bartlet replied.

Leo finally looked up from the pile of papers and took note of his friend. He stopped shuffling the papers, "Mr. President?"

"Yeah?"

"With all due respect--Are you going to tell me what is going on or are you going to continue to be abrasive and a pain in the ass?"

**Part 2 - POV: Alternating: Leo McGarry and POTUS**

I knew what was coming. The storm was brewing. I could see it in his eyes.

"Excuse me?" Jed asked slowly, looking over his glasses at me.

"You heard me." I said, calmly. I wasn't going to back down this time. "You've been a real bear the past few days—even more so than usual. Nobody wants to be around you."

"Fine." was the response I received, as Jed grabbed at a pile of papers and tried to look as though he were reading them.

"No, it's not fine." I continued. "It's not fine when you have a problem and decided to be a pain in the ass rather than work through it."

I was pushing his buttons. He was getting pretty pissed off. He stood up slowly from his chair and looked at me with significant irritation. "You know, Leo, that's the second time you've called me that in less than two minutes."

"I know," was all I answered.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?" Jed asked me, with contempt.

I was getting rather pissed myself, but I maintained my composure. "I am your Chief of Staff, Mr. President. It is my job to make sure that things run smoothly in this administration. When I see a problem, it's my responsibility to address the problem. That's why I'm addressing you right now."

"I'm the problem?" Jed asked me in amazement.

"Yes."

"I'm the problem?" he repeated, as he leaned over the table that separated the two of us. This time, he was louder and I knew what was to come.

"Yes." I replied, once more, my eyes locked onto his.

"DAMN YOU!" Jed boomed and proceeded to throw his pile of papers at me.

I took in a deep breath in order to keep my cool.

"Who the hell are you to judge me?!" he fumed.

"Jed..."

"Get the hell out!" he yelled.

"Mr. President..." I continued, trying to diffuse the situation, although in my heart, I knew that it was a moot point.

"Don't pull that `Mr. President' crap with me, Leo!"

"Mr. President," I started again, "I'm not only talking as your Chief of Staff, but as your friend of over 40 years...Let me help you deal with whatever you're struggling with. It's affecting your job and..." I paused for a moment, getting ready to drop the big gun, "And, it will affect your health, which is something I don't think you are prepared to deal with at all."

"Screw you! You're not interested in me, Leo. All you give a rat's ass about is whether I'm going to run for re-election. You're out to keep your job and the jobs of all those people out there. So, spare me the `I'm concerned about you, Jed' speech!"

I wasn't interested in continuing the conversation. I wanted to leave before I said something I was going to regret. I picked up the papers, and threw them in the folder.

"This meeting is over." I stated.

"Good!"

I started out the door and then stopped and turned back around to face the most powerful man in the world. "I resent the fact that you doubt my sincerity about how I feel about you. And, yes, I am concerned about the jobs of `all those people' out there. All those people got you to where you are now, Jed. Don't you ever forget that." I could hear my voice rise with frustration. "Without ` all those people', you wouldn't accomplish a fraction of the things that you do each day. So, yeah, it worries me when you're not on top of your game: for a variety of reasons. Forgive me for doing my job—which is something that I can't say about you right now."

With that, I stormed out the door, slamming it on my way out.

So much for leaving before saying anything I would regret.

Damn him! Why does he always know what buttons to push to send me over the edge?!

He's been my best friend for 40+ years now, that's why. Although right at this moment, you'd be hard pressed to believe that we were any type of acquaintance whatsoever.

I'm usually the one who walks out of these "conversations"; Leo is the consummate professional. He knows my foibles and has worked through them, around them and in spite of them for many years now. So, when I found myself alone in the room, you can imagine my shock. It didn't help matters that I was pissed off beyond all belief.

I think what pissed me off the most is that I knew that every word he said was right. And, those who know me, even only relatively well, realize that I hate to be proven wrong—about anything.

I have been a "pain in the ass" as Leo so succinctly put it.

Between the pressures I'm feeling regarding my decision to run again and getting our education package moving through the House, my mind has been a jumbled mess. Ordinarily, these types of issues do not cause me to lash out at others in quite the way I have recently—they simply serve as the latest challenge that I must overcome.

That is, when I'm facing these battles with my partner.

Lately, though, I've been alone in facing these decisions. My partner has been away for quite some time now.

I need Abbey to help me with these things.

Abbey has been gone before and I've been able to function just fine. This time, it's different. When she left, she was angry with me. Over the course of our marriage, we've been angry at one another so many times that I've lost count. But, after our last exchange, I knew this disagreement wouldn't fade as quickly.

She knows I'm about to break my promise to her. And, I've never done that before.

Even though we've talked on the phone often since she's been gone—sometimes two or three times a day—I can tell she is distant. She's not with me all the way. I'm not used to that feeling—and to be honest with you, it makes me sick to my stomach.

This morning, I heard a number of people talking about how long the First Lady has been away—I've been vague, as though I'm trying to play it casual.

Abbey's been gone 3 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours and 52 minutes...Not that I'm counting.

We've been telling people she's been on a variety of goodwill tours—and for about a week of that time, she was. She made a tour of some of the European countries and the southern states regarding her child labor campaign. The remainder of the time, however, has been spent in Manchester, New Hampshire. Our home. Yet, we're not together up there sharing its beauty and tranquility.

She has said that she needs time to process all that's happened. The mere thought of my considering re-election has sent her into a tailspin. I had assumed that by now, she would have realized that it was only natural for me to go for the final four years. Yes, we had made a deal, but that was so long ago—a lifetime, really. We've done some good, after all, and there's still so much more to accomplish. Overall, my health has been good. I've only had one episode, and while I'm tired (who wouldn't be), I'm feeling ok. I think I had rationalized to myself that there was no way that she wouldn't (or couldn't) support me in my decision to run again.

I was wrong—so very wrong.

So, here I sit in my dining room, alone. I've alienated my wife and my best friend—two people without whom I am nothing but a highly qualified economics professor—or a highly under qualified President of the United States.

I've decided to let Leo stew for a while. I haven't seen him this angry in a long time. It's probably best that I wait for him to cool down a little. I guess I'll be eating some humble pie later on.

I'd love to share my problems with Leo—but I was right on one count in our "discussion" earlier: he is my Chief of Staff. Therefore, even though I do know that he cares about me personally, he wants me to run again. He'll encourage me to do it, just as he did to get me to run for President in the first place.

That's what got me into this mess. And, again, as I said before: Damn him!

How do I face the two people I admire and cherish the most, when they both want different things?

How do I face my staff, who are confused by my behavior and wondering if they their confidence has been misdirected? How will they react when news of the MS comes out? I know it will. It will make no difference whether I run for re-election or not. My secret will be aired like dirty laundry.

How do I face the American people? My mind hasn't been on the game recently. I haven't been at my best. More importantly, I've admitted to myself, privately, that I have lied to them. I thought that the public was on a "need to know basis" and in my opinion; they simply didn't need to know. Again, another gross miscalculation.

These are the questions that have been plaguing my thoughts and dreams since the State of the Union address.

Ha! And people are wondering why I've been so preoccupied lately....

**Part 3 - POV: Alternating: FLOTUS and POTUS**

You would think by now that I would be accustomed to travel. I do it so much that I should just keep a suitcase packed in the closet—it would save some time. Yet, despite all of my visits across the country and across the world, I am not a great traveler. Oh, I enjoy the destinations, just not the actual trip there. Plane rides bore me to tears. To be honest, I get lonely because the one person that I want to enjoy my destinations with is rarely with me at the time. He's too busy running the country and being the leader of the free world. Some people have the lamest excuses....

It doesn't matter where I go: my favorite place is home. New Hampshire centers me; it allows me to put things into focus. There is something about New England that just says "home". Maybe it's the tradition of family and the beauty of its landscape. I don't know. This is where my family was created. So, I guess it's natural to feel a certain pull from this place.

However, this time New Hampshire has let me down. Nothing has been brought into focus. If anything, things are less clear than ever. I head back to Washington filled with confusion and frustration, which wasn't my plan. I had hoped to have the answers to our problems. I would figure out the perfect argument to convince my pigheaded husband to abandon his bid for re-election.

That argument has eluded me.

Don't get me wrong; there is no way that I want Jed to run for a second term. I have made my feelings more than obvious about the issue. Usually, I simply have to put on my "doctor hat", rant and rave a little and I get my point across. That hasn't happened in this case.

Jed thinks he's invincible. I don't know if the Presidential power trip has gone straight to his head, but he simply does not realize the toll that this job is taking on him.

I see it, and not only because I'm a physician, but mostly because I am his wife. Wives see things that few (if any) doctors can. Jed either cannot see these things because of his denial or the fact that he's simply chose to ignore them and try to "beat the odds".

But Jed is not playing cards with the boys in the residence. He's playing with his life.

He doesn't understand this fact. He has made a commitment to serve the American people. His dedication and love for public service are just two of the many things I adore about my husband. My pride for his work is unequalled.

However, Jed made a commitment to our family and me. He's a husband, a father and a grandfather. Those commitments should take precedence.

He made a promise to me: one term only. We made a deal. It was not my intention to squash his passion, but simply to keep him with us longer.

Am I being selfish? You bet your ass I am. I'll fight to the end for my husband.

Even if I have to fight my husband for my husband....

I suppose I should back to the office and see if I can get anything accomplished. Mostly, I need to try to find Leo. We have a lot to discuss. Hopefully this time, we won't be screaming at one another.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Charlie?"

"Everything ok?"

Charlie must have seen Leo storm back through the West Wing and his radar picked up that our meeting didn't go so well. Charlie seems to have a sense of when things aren't right—and he thinks it is his job to fix it. Unfortunately, there are some things that he can't repair.

"Charlie, walk with me. I'm on my way back to the office."

"All right."

As we walk, I see many sets of eyes staring at me. Some people move quickly out of the way. Jesus. Nothing is kept sacred around here.

"Charlie?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Why is everyone..?"

"Well, Mr. President, apparently a number of people heard your discussion with Mr. McGarry."

Duh. Well, that should keep tongues wagging around here for a while. With my luck, I'll soon see headlines: President and Chief of Staff Come to Blows in the White House. I wonder who they say won that battle?

"Oh. Charlie, what does my afternoon look like?"

Charlie rattles off item after item. My head is swimming. I can't deal with this now.

By the time we reach the Oval Office, I'm working up to a major headache.

"Charlie, is there any way that we can…"

"I've taken the liberty to clear the next half hour in your schedule. I rescheduled the budget meeting to this afternoon at 4:45." Thank God for Charlie. He knows exactly what is necessary. There are times that I swear that he's inside my head and is reading my thoughts. I suppose that should frighten me a bit. Some days, it does. Today, however, I am grateful to have him by my side.

"Thank you, Charlie. Have you had your lunch, yet?"

"No, sir. Just as I was getting ready to leave," he pauses for a moment and continues, "something came up."

I smile slightly at this. "You mean, someone suddenly came through like a hurricane, right Charlie?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, Charlie, I'm about to go directly into the eye of the storm." I head towards the door that connects the Oval Office and Leo's office.

"Mr. President?" Charlie calls out to me.

"Yeah, Charlie?"

Another slight hesitation. "Are you all right, sir?"

I think what I love most about Charlie is his deep concern for me—not just as his boss or the President, but as a person. "I'm fine, Charlie. Thanks for asking. I'll see you in about a half an hour."

"Thank you, sir."

I open the door and go through the short corridor that links the two offices. Leo is sitting at his desk, head in hands. There are piles of work everywhere. I stand in the doorway and just take a moment look at my best friend and I know that I am the cause of his pain. This man deserves better than what I have given him.

I guess Leo senses my presence, because he looks up at me.

"Hey." A Nobel Prize winner and that's all I can manage to say.

Leo stands up. "Hello, Mr. President." He's all business. But, I'm not here to talk to my Chief of Staff, I'm here to talk to my best friend.

"Leo, I think we need to talk. I promise, no temper tantrums or throwing things around the room."

"That's a relief, sir."

This is going to be harder than I thought.

There is a silence in the room that almost feels like it is smothering me.

"Leo, I want to apologize for acting like a jackass."

He looks right at me and says nothing for a moment. Then, "Yeah, well, you'd think I'd be used to it by now." He cracks a smile. Relief starts to flood over me.

"Jed, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"I know."

"So, what is going on?"

"What isn't going on, Leo? It's the damn education package, the likelihood that my private health issues are going to become the sticks that our opponents, the press and more than likely the American people are going to beat me with, the re-election crap…"

"It's Abbey, isn't it?" Leo is always direct. He's another one who can pull the words right out of my head. This has never frightened me, though. This is what I depend on.

He gets the words out of my brain that I can't handle at the time.

"Jed?"

"Yeah?"

"She'll be home tonight."

"Yeah."

"This is a good thing, right?"

"I don't know, Leo. I just don't know."

I'll find out soon enough, I suppose.

**Part 4 - POV: POTUS/LEO/FLOTUS**

Feedback: Please give me any feedback you feel necessary!

At the end of a typical day, I feel like I could be hung out to dry. I am usually wiped out. I try to sit and read for a while. I love reading. It used to be that I would sit for extended period of time with a good book and barely blink an eye. Now, it seems like whenever I sit down to read it is a sure cure for insomnia.

Today is an exception to the rule, though. Between the countless meetings, the pubic appearances, and, oh yes, the great Bartlet vs. McGarry Debate, I think it's been a pretty full day. However, I don't seem to feel too tired. As a matter of fact, I just finished a meeting with Toby about the education package. It was rather productive, considering the fact that I know he's still pretty pissed off about my not telling him about the MS.

At first, he wasn't dealing very well with the news. Of course, Toby's way of dealing with things is to brood and to lash out from time to time at those around him. Hmm, sounds familiar. Maybe that's why I keep Toby around—we're more alike than I care to admit. But, now, he's more focused and whatever opinions he has regarding my handling of the situation, he's keeping to himself (at least for now).

After the day I've had, one would think I would be exhausted. I'm not. If anything, I'm going on my second wind. I'm pacing around here like an expectant father—hell, I didn't even pace like this when I was an expectant father.

I thought that sitting here and reading would help calm my nerves. No such luck. I know what is awaiting me in just a little while: my wife will return from New Hampshire. That much, I do know. What I don't know is what she will say upon her return. She's been known to just burst in here and give it to me with both barrels. It's not a pretty sight.

However, considering the way she left three weeks ago, she didn't appear to have much fight left in her. And, I think that scares me more than if she were to come in here and rip my head off.

I need to find something to keep me occupied otherwise I might lose it.

I should have known that Abbey's absence was what was at the core of Jed's troubles. When he's overburdened with work, he gets cranky, but it's manageable. When there's a problem between him and Abbey, he doesn't cope at all. She is his rock; his anchor in any storm.

I knew that there was tension between the First Couple, yet I had no idea that things were that strained. Some friend I am. I really thought that she would understand why we have to run again—that she would see how much we've done and just jump on board the bandwagon. I underestimated her reaction and how it would affect the President. Because of this situation, I have been reminded of a lesson that I learned many years ago:

Never underestimate Abigail Bartlet.

There are some lessons you have to keep re-learning the hard way.

I know that Jed is nervous about her return. He wants things to be "normal"—whatever the hell that is—but I think he knows in his heart that they won't be. He has no idea what to expect, and that drives him crazy.

I should go check on him to see how he's dealing with the wait. Jed's not a patient man. He hates to wait for anything—whether he knows what to expect or not. You should have seen him at the births of all three of his girls. He was a wreck. Oh, he'd like to make you think otherwise, but Abbey and I were the ones who kept a level head. Jed was a mess.

I go through the linking corridor between our offices and open the door to the Oval Office just a crack, just to get a peek. I don't want him to think that I'm checking up on him. God, I don't want a lecture from him about that!

Yeah, I was right. He's a mess. He's pacing all over the office. I can't help but smile just a little bit. I find it amusing that the most powerful man in the world is reduced to this.

"Leo, what the hell are you doing?" I hear Jed call out to me.

Damn, I was caught…

"Uh, good evening, sir, I was just…"

"You were just spying on me," he said, with an exasperated look on his face.

"Well, Mr. President I was just.." I wasn't covering my guilt up very well.

"Do you realize that I could have you arrested for spying? Spying is a crime, Leo. And, a big one at that." Jed says, with slight grin on his face.

"I'll tell you what, you put me in a nice federal correctional facility, and I'll turn myself in. I could use a vacation."

"Fine, just make sure that they take me with you as they haul you off." Jed replied, with a sigh.

"It's not going to be that bad, sir." I assure him.

"Yeah."

"Haven't you missed her?" I ask. That's a stupid question. He's been lost without her.

"Of course I have, Leo," he answers in a tone that confirms my thoughts on the stupidity of the question.

"Then, focus on that and let the rest take care of itself."

Jed just looks at me in silence.

"Jed, just talk to her. You've always been good at that. The two of you sit down, hash it out and work it out. I've always marveled at that. I guess that's why you're still married and I'm not."

"Yeah, well, the reason why you're not married to Jenny anymore is because you're a horse's ass."

I roll my eyes. "Let's not start with that again."

"Right. Well, I'm afraid that it's not going to be that simple with Abbey this time, Leo. She was pretty pissed at me when she left here."

"Well, Jed…that's the first right thing you've said in quite some time"

The sound of another voice caused Jed and I to turn quickly toward the other door of the Oval Office. We knew the sound of that voice.

Abigail was home.

It's incredible to watch the flutter of activity upon my arrival back at the White House. From the moment my car pulls up to the door, you can see the virtual ballet begin. My staffers greet me at the door. Other White House staff members are rushing around—it seems like someone is always rushing around here. I barely step foot in the house and my assistants are rattling items off to me about what my schedule is upon my return. Of course, they do pay me the courtesy of welcoming me back.

I shouldn't sound like I'm not grateful for my staff. They just need to lighten up a bit.

The biggest thing is the announcement of my arrival home. Now, there's no official announcement of my arrival. But it seems as though that the word of my arrival spreads like wildfire throughout the building. It's like a alarm that goes throughout the house. Anyone else would think that no one wants her around—fortunately, I could care less about what everyone thinks.

I know who they are informing—my husband. Well today, I don't want to give them a chance. I make a beeline from my car, through the West Wing offices and directly to the Oval Office.

I realized that I am successful in my goal when I caught Charlie off guard. I swear that young man has a built-in radar.

"Good evening, ma'am." Charlie says, standing in respect.

"Hello Charlie."

"You're home early."

"Yes, I am. Is the President in the office?"

"Yes, ma'am. Did he know about your early arrival home?" Poor Charlie. He's Jed's first line of defense.

"No, Charlie, and that's the way I wanted it." I say with a smile and head for the office door.

I open the door and see my husband and Leo standing and talking. They don't even notice I've come in. Unfortunately, they are talking about me and they think they're doing it behind my back.

Separately, Leo and Jed are two of the brightest men I have the pleasure of knowing. Together, though, they are hopeless at times.

I smile at the two of them talking and apparently planning how to deal with me. When I hear Jed say that I was pretty pissed off when I left, I had to jump in.

"Well, Jed…that's the first right thing you've said in quite some time"

You should have seen their heads whip around in my direction. It took everything I had not to crack a smile.

I walk into the room and close the door behind me. I move toward my husband.

"Hello, Leo."

"Good Evening, ma'am."

"Oh, don't ma'am me, Leo. You're standing here talking about how my husband should deal with me and now you're calling me ma'am?" Leo has that "deer in the headlights" look. I decide to let him off the hook, for now. "Oh, come on, Leo. Lighten up just a bit."

Leo sighs in relief. "How was your trip?"

"Just fine, thank you. Leo, would you mind?"

I don't even need to finish the thought. "Of course. I was just leaving anyway."

"Coward." Jed says, with a wink. But, I know that somewhere deep down, I think he's at least half-serious.

Then, Jed and I were alone.

"Hello, Abbey." He looks tired. Yet, somehow his eyes are sparkling. Ever since the first day we met, I've seen that spark in his eye. It makes it very difficult for me to stay angry with him.

"Hello, Jed."

He comes over to me and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"How is New Hampshire?" he asks.

"Fine. Everything is good at the house."

"That's good," he says.

For a moment, there are no words between us. This is fine with me. I'm trying to regroup and get my game face on. It isn't working. I just want to stand there and look at him and tell him how much I missed him. Damn it, I'm supposed to be mad at him and here I am almost in tears because I want him to hold me so badly and tell me everything is going to be o.k.

"Abbey?" he says, softly and takes a step towards me.

"Yeah?"

He takes my hands in his. "Abbey, I missed you."

I cannot hold back any longer. Tears are running down my face. I take in a breath and reply, "I missed you, too, Jed."

He starts to kiss my tears away, one at a time. Then, he kisses me fully. It's a kiss that says everything to me—how much he needs me, misses me, and desires me. There is no fighting it.

"Jed?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's go to the residence and finish this discussion."

I'm going to have to wait until later to have the discussion I had intended to have with him. As he slowly leads me out of the Oval Office and towards the residence, we both know there is some unfinished business that we must deal with.

But, this is more important for us right now.

**Part 5 - POV: POTUS/FLOTUS (alternating)**

My God, the lady lying next to me is still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and she can still throw me a curve ball. The last place I anticipated us ending up was in bed together. Based on how upset she was the last time I saw her, I figured that I would wind up sleeping at least on the couch or even in one of the guestrooms.

I can't speak for Abbey, but I have to say that from the moment she walked in on Leo and me, I was so elated to see her that I couldn't find the words to say. All I could do was stand there and look at her. Abbey is always a sight for sore eyes, and I fully understood the depth of the emptiness in my heart and soul when she walked into the room.

Of course, I was also scared to death that she would rail at me with the wrath of God—but I was willing to take that risk.

She looks so peaceful right now. This is the way she should always look. She's had to endure a great deal, and most of it is because of me. I wish that I could lock the world away and just live in this moment from now on.

But, I know that is not possible. I know that we have to settle things and need to come to an understanding, and I know that it is going to be painful.

I have to convince her that a second term is something that needs to be done. I need to let her know that I need her by my side. Her support means everything to me. I cannot do my job without it. She is the most integral part of my life and I need that part of me in order to be whole—both professionally and personally.

I gently push away a stray strand of hair that has fallen in her face. She stirs a little then rolls over, with her back facing me now.

As much as I don't want to, I need to get out of bed and get ready for the day ahead. I'd rather stay in bed with my wife and pick up where we left off last night. I have good reason to feel this way—mostly because after our discussion, I'm not sure about how long it will be before we have another moment like this again…

Jed is actually getting out of bed before I do? Miracles are possible. My husband is about the worst "morning person" alive. No one likes to be the unlucky fool that has to wake him up. It is not a pretty sight.

I have been lying here quietly, pretending to still be asleep. I've been trying to prolong this time that we have together. Time together like this is so rare; I hate to see it end. But, reality has been awake for far longer than the two of us have, and it's time that we get up and greet it head on.

I'm not sure how long Jed has been awake, but the fact that he's up so early and out of bed all ready tells me that something is troubling him. He knows that we need to talk. He knows that he's not going to like to hear what I have to say.

I had wanted to get this conversation over with as soon as I returned to the White House. I didn't realize how much I had missed and needed Jed until I saw him when I walked into the Oval Office. I had every intention to blast him when I got back—I planned to get my point across strongly and convincingly.

So, I was sidetracked a little bit.

As I lay here in bed, I see Jed getting dressed. It's Saturday, so he's dressing down today. Notre Dame sweat pants and shirt, of course. Sure he looks good in a suit, but I enjoy seeing him more relaxed. Again, I don't get to see that very often. I suppose I could stay in bed all day and watch my husband, but I know that can't happen.

I sit up a little bit and pull up the sheet around me. "Jed?"

"Abbey," he says softly and turns in my direction. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No. What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed. I can't go down to the office looking the way I did when I was still in bed." He smiles mischievously and comes and sits down beside me on the bed.

"Why are you up so early?"

"Oh, I don't know…"

"You're never up early unless something is bothering you."

Jed says nothing in response.

"Were you hoping to be down in the offices before I woke up, so that you could avoid the discussion you know has to happen?"

"Abbey…" Jed says wearily.

"Jed, just because what happened last night happened doesn't erase everything that we need to deal with."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Yes, Abbey, I do know that. Are you saying that you regret what happened last night?"

"Of course not, Jed. What happened last night was wonderful and beautiful and.."

"Amazing, intense…" he continued and started to lean over and kiss my neck a little. Damn him…

"Jed…" I say in a warning tone, trying to pull away a bit. "We need to talk about this. We can't just stay in bed and make love from now until election time."

"Why not?" he continues, and is still nuzzling on my neck. "I certainly can't think of anything better to do than that."

I manage to pull away and get out of bed. I grab my robe and put it on.

"Jed, please. I'm doing my best to keep my cool and not get angry, but you are not making it easy on me. Now, please, we need to discuss this!" My voice is rising in anger just a little bit.

"Ok, Abbey, ok," he acquiesces.

Just then the phone rings. Classic.

Jed leans over and picks it up. "Yeah?"

Once again the world's needs will come before our own.

Jed says nothing and listens on the phone. His eyes lock onto mine with an intensity that tells me he means business. I wonder what the hell is going on now.

"Yeah, Leo. That sounds fine. Give me an hour. I'm in an important meeting right now. Keep me posted when you need to and I'll see you in the office then." With that, he hangs up the phone.

I'm in shock. "What's going on?"

"Nothing that can't wait for an hour."

I stand there is silence.

"Nothing that's more important than us, Abbey."

This is my opening. "Do you mean that, Jed?"

"Of course I do."

"Then please reconsider your run for reelection." I might as well put all my cards on the table right from the start.

"Abbey…."

"Jed, one of the reasons I love you is because of all the good work you do. You're a damn fine President and I couldn't be more proud of you and all that you have accomplished. But, that's only one of the reasons. The main reason why I love you is because you are Josiah Bartlet, my husband. I want to grow old with you. I want you to be by my side. I want you to be there for your daughters and your grandchildren…"

"I am there for you and the girls!" he protests.

"Yes, you are. But, you won't be if you keep up this pace. Your health.."

"Oh, Abbey…one episode in how many years?"

"Don't interrupt me!" Now, I'm getting upset. "Your health is like a ticking time bomb. Stress doesn't help. Lack of sleep doesn't help. There is nothing I can do to help you, except to encourage you to take better care of yourself. I can give you injections of Beta Seron and pump you full of drugs, but if you don't slow down, all the drugs in the world won't be able to help you, Jed!"

"But, I've been feeling fine, Abbey."

"Have you looked at yourself lately? You're exhausted!"

"I've been a little busy, Abigail." He's starting to get annoyed now.

"Hell, I know that Jed, and that's my point. You need to decide which is more important, you health and life with me and your family or the Presidency." There, I said it.

"It's not that simple, Abbey!"

"Why not?"

"I made a commitment to the American people, you can't expect me to walk away when I'm only half finished with the job!" he yells at me.

"You made a commitment to me 32 years ago! You've been my husband for a hell of a lot longer than you've been the President, and I don't expect you to walk away from your commitment to me, damn it!"

"I would never walk away from our commitment, Abbey!"

"You made me a promise! One term only."

Jed takes in a deep breath to try to keep his temper in check. "Things change, Abbey. Situations change," he says in as calm a voice as he can.

"Your condition doesn't change—except that it could get worse! But you refuse to see that."

He turns away from me now. He can't look at me. He knows that I'm right.

"The bottom line is this, Jed. Things may change, but commitments don't change and promises don't change." I take in a deep breath. "If you decide to run for re-election, you will be walking away from our commitment—and I won't put up with that. I can't. I cannot stand by you any longer."

Jed slowly turns back around; his face looks grave, "What are you saying, Abigail?"

I look into Jed's eyes, so that he is sure that I am serious. "What I'm saying, Josiah, is that if you break your promise to me, I will consider it the biggest violation of trust you could ever imagine. And, I don't think that I can live with that…or with you…as a result."

With those words, Jed has to sit down.

I was serious when I said I would fight for my husband.

**Part 6 - POV: POTUS/LEO (alternating)**

Feedback: Please!

I don't even know what to say to this. Did my wife say what I think she just said? Did she just tell me that if I decide to run for re-election, that she would leave me? I had no choice but to sit down.

I look at her from across the room. She is unflinching in her stance and her stare. The pain I am feeling right now is ten times worse than when I was shot at the Newseum last year. This wound penetrates me much deeper than any bullet could.

"Abbey…" I can barely get the words out. "Don't do this to me."

I can see the tears start to roll down her face. "I don't want to do this. I have no choice."

She walks out of the room, still dressed in her robe. I'm left to sit alone with a burden that no man should have to face—that no man may be capable to face.

I rest my head in my hands. I feel the tears that I've been holding back start to flow. Whoever said that men aren't supposed to cry is full of crap.

"Mr. President?" Leo has come into the room and I haven't even heard him.

I don't move. "Did you know about this, Leo?" I whisper.

"I don't know anything except for the fact that I just saw Abbey running down the corridor and go into a guest room. Now, I see you in here.." There is genuine concern in my friend's expression.

The tears are flowing freely now.

"Jed, my God. What is it?"

"My wife wants to leave me."

Leo gasps as though he were just punched in the gut. "What?"

I say nothing.

Leo crosses over to sit beside me. "You can't be serious."

"She's serious, Leo. More serious than you can imagine."

"What happened? How did this happen?" He puts a hand on my shoulder.

I told him everything. From last night's events (not a lot of details, of course) to today's explosion. He simply sat there and listened until I was finished.

Once I was finished, all my friend could do was sit in silence.

"Leo, I need your advice now more than I ever have. What am I going to do?"

I prayed that the man to whom I have given my life's work could give me some hope….

What could I say to him? Give me a political crises, I can fix it. Give me a scandal, I can work around (that skill is a necessity in this business). I am the last person anyone should ask about marital advice—considering the fact that I lost my own wife because of my work. To have Jed Bartlet sit here and ask me what he should do about his marriage seemed ridiculous. Jed and Abbey have been the example by which all marriages should follow: both partners intelligent, capable of amazing humor and affectionate almost to a fault. Whenever people see the First Couple together, remarks are always made that they seem to be as much in love now as they were when they were married 32 years ago. I was there for that day. No two people were more meant for each other than Jed and Abbey.

I constantly teased Jed that Abbey was too damned good for him, and we both knew that had a grain of truth to it. But, I knew that Jed Bartlet had met his match when he met Abbey. She is the only person who can match Jed's passion and emotion—and the temper to boot. They are a perfect match. I never even thought it was possible that even a mention of separation would be in the cards for my two friends.

Now, here I sit in the President's residence, trying to figure out what to say to my best friend. His life is in a tailspin and I've been given the controls to try to level it out.

"Jed, you need to talk to her."

"And say what? That I won't be emotionally blackmailed? That I won't run? That I will run and then tell her to get the hell out?"

"Jed.."

"Well, Leo, what the hell can I possibly say to her!!"

More silence.

"I'm going to lose her, Leo."

"No, you're not!" I insist.

His tears are starting to fall again. I don't see Jed Bartlet cry very often. This doesn't assist me in improving my feeling of helplessness.

"I love her. She's my life," he says.

"I know that, sir."

"Why would she do this? This isn't like her. She's never threatened me before—at least like this."

"She must be hurting, too, Jed."

"Yes, but I didn't intend to hurt her. What happened just now was intentional," he snapped.

"It doesn't matter. I don't think she meant to hurt you. She was hurt, so she hurt you back. She doesn't want to lose you," I assure him.

"Yet, she's willing to leave me. So, how much could she "not want to lose me?"

"She's lashing out. Just like someone else I know can do." I reply with a smirk on my face.

Jed is not impressed.

"Jed, what if I talk to her?"

"I don't know" he sighed.

"It can't hurt."

"It might. You can be a pain in the ass, too, you know," he says.

I smile at his remark.

He pauses a moment before he says, "Go ahead, Leo. Just make sure that I'm not served divorce papers by the end of the day."

Oh, well, no pressure there.

"Jed, I'm going to clear your schedule for today. It's only Saturday; there's nothing that is more important than this."

Jed chuckles under his breath.

"What is it?"

"That's exactly what I said to Abbey. Nothing is more important than us."

I look at my friend. I wish that I had just the right words to say to him at this moment.

"Yeah." I can manage no more than that.

"I think I'm going to go take a walk to try and clear my head," he says.

We stand and walk into the hallway. He goes to leave, but he turns back around to face me before he heads out. "Thanks, Leo."

"You're welcome, sir."

And then, he's gone.

I need to draw every ounce of courage. I'm going into the mouth of the lion. I'm hoping that as I get to where the First Lady is, that I'll come up with a brilliant idea.

Somehow, I know it's going to need to be better than that.

Have I mentioned lately that I think I need a raise? Maybe add combat pay to my list of benefits? Well, one project at a time….

**Part 7 - POV: Alternating: LEO/FLOTUS/POTUS**

Feedback: Absolutely.

Thanks to my "beta-reader", Jo-Ellen. She's a slave driver, but has kept me on top of the game. Couldn't do this without you!

There are times in a person's life where they are put in a situation that he wishes he's never seen. This is one of those moments. I know that Abbey is in no mood to talk, but if I don't see her, the President will lose his mind. Why did I volunteer to even talk to her? I'm no good at this relationship crap. Christ, my own marriage went in the toilet because I couldn't handle issues like this.

But, these two people aren't just anyone, and I'm not referring to the fact that they are the First Couple. They are my friends—two people who I love as my family. If there is even a remote chance that I can help, I've got to try.

Personally, though, I think that this goes beyond the typical Chief of Staff job description. Where in my contract does it say anything about being a marriage counselor? However, if I don't at least try to fix this, we might as well pack up the White House now and head back to New Hampshire—because this administration will be over. If I had a choice, this would be a job that I'd pass on to my "deputy", Josh.

Of course, Abbey would chew him up and spit him out for lunch. And, while that may be quite amusing to watch, I do still need Josh around to do my other dirty work.

So, it's up to me to serve myself up for lunch to the First Lady today. Lucky me.

I knock lightly on the door. "Abbey? It's Leo. Can I come in?"

There is no response. I open the door and go inside the room. Abbey is sitting in one of the chairs; she is distraught.

"Leo, go away." she says through her tears.

"No, Abbey." I reply and pull up a chair next to her.

She looks up at me. I can't tell what her face is saying to me. I'd better play it easy.

"Leo, do you know that my husband is a pain in the ass?"

I can't help but to smile, just a little. Pain in the ass...where have I heard that before?

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I heard that just yesterday morning from someone." I answer.

"Really? Who said that?" she asks, defensively. Amazing. She can be pissed off at Jed, but don't ever make her think that someone is talking badly about her husband. She'll jump on you quicker than a flea jumps on a dog.

"Me," I respond and give her the handkerchief that I keep in my back pocket.

She simply nods her head and wipes her eyes.

"Have you talked to him, Leo?"

"Yeah."

She hesitates a moment, then asks, "How is he?"

"Pretty shitty. What do you expect?"

"I don't know." she sighs.

"Damn it, Abbey. You threatened to leave him. You must have known that would devastate him!" I snap. My tone is a little harsher than I had anticipated.

"I didn't expect this, Leo!"

"I expect careless remarks from Jed. He can't help it: the grand irony of having a great mind and a terrible temper. You, on the other hand..."

"Leo..." she says, with a warning in her tone. "As Chief of Staff, you may be able to maneuver and push around my husband, but as for me.."

"As for you, Mrs. Bartlet, you are my best friend's wife and I am addressing you as such."

There is silence between us for a brief moment.

"I mean no disrespect to you, Abbey. I'm just trying to fix this."

"I don't know if you can." she says. She stands and walks over to the window and looks outside.

"Abbey, I can't play games with you. I wouldn't even try. That is why I need some straight answers from you right now."

She says nothing, so I decide to continue.

"Were you serious about leaving him, Abbey?"

Still not a word from her.

"Abbey?!" I demand. I thought that maybe she said it in a fit of anger. That doesn't make it all right, but at least I'd understand that.

"What do you want from me, Leo!?" she turns back to face me.

"I want an answer to my question!"

She throws her hands up in the air out of despair. "I don't know, Leo. I can't even think straight right now, so don't interrogate me!" Now, she turns away again in disgust.

I walk straight up to her, turn her around in front of me and look her right in the eye. "Then answer this question: do you still love your husband?!" I shout at her.

I stood there with my hands still on her shoulders. Did I just shout at Abigail Bartlet? I'm either getting braver or dumber in my age and experience.

"How can you even ask that question, Leo?" I ask in total shock. My shock is not only from the question, but also from the fact that Leo just yelled at me. There aren't many people in this world that can get away with that.

"How can I not, Abbey? You throw an ultimatum like that out there..."

"I know, I know..." I reply. Don't tell me something that I already know, Leo.

Leo takes in a deep breath. "Abbey, I have asked you two questions. You haven't answered either one."

"Of course I love my husband!" I shout. "Why the hell do you think I'm fighting for him?"

"Fighting for him?" Leo looks confused. Of course he wouldn't understand...he's a man.

"Yes, Leo. I'm fighting for my husband. His nervous system is being eaten away by all of this. At this rate, he'll relapse sooner than anticipated." I can feel the panic in my voice build. "The memory loss, debilitated speech, lack of motor function...all of it...and I can't just stand by and watch him work himself into an early grave!"

Damn, the tears are starting again.

"I can't lose him, Leo. I've lost him for almost 4 years because of this damn job. I've been patiently waiting until Jed finished living his dream, so that he and I could continue our dream. I've given up 4 years of my marriage, and I don't want to lose any more time before.." I can't continue my thought. The tears are flowing freely now.

I feel like the room is closing in on me. I reach out to grab a hold of something. The closest thing I can find is the wall. I place my hand on it and slide down it until I am seated on the floor. I am sobbing now.

Leo is next to me in a second, sitting beside me. He puts his arms around me and pulls my head onto his shoulder so I can just sit and have the cry that has been building inside of me for weeks now.

I'm sure Leo is at a loss as to what to say at this point. I hate losing control like this in front of anyone—but if it had to be anyone, I'm glad it was Leo.

After what seems like an eternity, I am cried out, at least for now. I am exhausted.

"Abbey?" Leo whispers.

"Yeah?"

"I can't say that I understand how you feel, that would be an insult to you. You want your husband back and you want him whole. That's fair. But, you must realize that Jed hasn't finished his dream."

Yeah, I know that, Leo. Again, he's telling me something I already know.

"He needs you in order to finish that dream. Don't you think he realizes the risk and that he wouldn't do it if he really felt that he couldn't?"

"No, Leo. I don't think he realizes the risk. He thinks he's invincible."

"He's always felt that way. How do you think he convinced you to marry him?"

Leo is trying to make me smile. I'm too tired to fight it. I feel a tiny smile start to spread across my face.

"I can't tell you how to feel or what to do. All I can say is this: you just told me that you don't want to lose any more time with Jed. Don't walk away from him now. That would do more to destroy him than 4 more years in the White House. He needs you more than the air he breathes. He can't live without you—with or without the MS." He stands up and offers his hand to help me up. I accept his hand and rise off the floor.

I just stand there and look at Leo as he starts for the door. He stops, though, and turns back to look at me. He looks as though he wants to say something, but he isn't talking.

"Leo? What is it?"

"Have you noticed how alive he is when he's working? Sure, he gripes and complains, but he was made for this job. He has made a difference, Abbey. The both of you have. You make a hell of a team. The answer may not be walking away, but finding a balance. It will be damn hard, but I think you are the best person for that job. You're the toughest person I know. If anyone can change Jed Bartlet, it's you."

With that, Leo was gone.

I think I've just had a reminder about why Leo is my husband's closest and most trusted advisor.

"Sir, shouldn't you have a jacket on?" I hear Charlie say as I head out the doors of the Oval Office that lead to the outside. I didn't even hear him come in.

I simply wave him off and continue outside. I can't let him see me like this. I'm not sure what I look like at this point, but it can't be good.

I think it's about 40 degrees outside right now, yet I don't feel the nip in the air. I can't feel much of anything. I'm numb all over. The good news is that I can say with certainty that the numbness has nothing to with the MS—since this morning I haven't felt a thing.

"...I can't stand by you and I'm not sure that I can live with you..."

From the moment I heard those words from Abbey I have shut down. I'm not even sure how I got out here. I can't remember walking from the residence to the Oval Office.

The stars are out tonight. It's clear and crisp up there. The sky is the only clear thing I can see right now. Everything else seems a blue at this moment. I look up to the heavens, in search of answers to questions that have none or that won't be given to me:

"How did I get myself into this mess?" "Why have You let my body betray me?"

"Why can't You make this hell disappear?"

"How can I live without Abbey?"

Live without Abbey? The one question I have an answer for: I can't. I can't live without Abbey. I don't care if I am sick or not. When I was 30 and healthy, I needed Abbey to survive. She is my life's blood. She is my partner. I rely on her. I probably rely on her too much. I can't help it. We've been side by side for over 30 years now—it's a hard habit to break.

The mere thought of Abbey leaving me causes my stomach to tie itself into quite a nice knot. I've been fighting the urge to vomit since I walked out of our bedroom earlier today. How could she even think that? We've been through so much together—all of the political crap, this damn illness, the glare of the spotlight, the long distances and time away from one another. I always thought that we could survive anything. She's put up with so much; I guess I thought, "What's one more thing?"

It appears that `One more thing' is enough to finally send her over the edge. I've let my damn bravado and pride get in the way of sound reasoning.

All the things she said were true. This job has eaten away at me. Sure, the physical toll is measurable: the fatigue, the aching back, the insomnia, the episode last year—all brought on by the stress and hours of my job. I look in the mirror and I see a shadow of the man I once was. These differences aren't stark—just noticeable to me and those closest to me. The reality of my illness rears its ugly head and it scares the hell out of me. I picture myself as a man trying to fight beyond the physical limitations that will crop up. Then, more importantly, my mind will start to go along with my body.

I need to sit down again. I can't start thinking of that now.

As I take in a deep breath, I can feel the cold air for the first time. It fills my lungs and it wakes me up just a little.

I'm scared. I'm scared of losing myself, yes. But, mostly, I'm scared of losing Abbey.

Abbey is the one (along with Leo) who got me to where I am today, and I'm not saying that to blame her. She knew that this was a dream that I had buried deep inside of me for ages. She gave me the courage and the ability to move forward with it and to make it a reality, even though I was scared shitless then, too.

I've shared many dreams with my wife—she knew of my dream to become a priest. That was, of course, until I met Abigail. My dreams changed at that instant. My only dream was having her by my side, to grow old with her, to make beautiful love every day to her, to share everything with her and to create a family with her. So, far, I've lived all of those dreams (except for the making love every day part—a man can dream, right?)

I also know that my job has eaten away at more than just my health. It has sucked the life from me: my life with my wife, my family and my friends. These were sacrifices that had to be made, and I thought that was understood and accepted. In my heart, though, I believed that I could do it all—be the President, a devoted husband, involved father and attentive friend. I overestimated my abilities, I suppose. Suppose, nothing...I've screwed up, and royally.

My best dream is ready to fade away. I don't want to open my eyes and let it slip out of my grasp.

I have had many dreams in my life. Some were worth letting go. Some still may be. Some dreams are hard to give up, but if it's what's best, sometimes you have to just suck it up and drop it.

I think I'm ready to trade one dream for another......

**Part 8 - POV: Leo**

I know that I should go find Jed and talk to him, but I need a few moments to collect myself. I'm sitting, in the dark, in the one place where I can usually get a little privacy—my office.

"Leo?"

So much for that. What now?

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" the voice asks me.

I look up and see someone who looks to be Josh standing in front of my desk. What the hell is he doing here?

"What the hell are you doing here, Josh?" I ask.

"I had some work to do, so I thought I'd come in and take a crack at it today."

"Josh, you know, you need to get a life, man." I insist. The man is worse than I am—and that's saying a hell of a lot.

"If you have so much work, then why are you in my office instead of yours?" I inquire. Man, do I have a headache. I need to find some Advil or something. I start rummaging through my desk drawers. I know there's a bottle of it in this mess somewhere.

Josh frowns slightly at my question. "I just came in to see if you need anything, Leo."

Ah! There's the bottle of Advil! "Yeah, Josh, I need a drink."

"Excuse me?" Josh replies, with a little bit of shock and quite a bit of concern.

Boy, just because a guy is an alcoholic, people get all nervous and jerky when you say you need a drink.

"Of water, Josh. I need a drink of water so I can take something for this headache."

"Oh."

"Although, I could really use something a bit stronger at this moment." I mutter under my breath.

"Leo?"

"Hey, I can say that…I just can't do anything about it."

"You shouldn't even be talking about it."

"Grow up, Josh. Temptation is everywhere. You deal with it." I go over to the water pitcher and pour a glass. I swallow four pills. I hope that knocks this headache out. "For example, I'm tempted almost every day to fire you, but I don't."

"Very funny, Leo," Josh answers. He's looking at me funny; I can see that even through the shadows.

I turn on the desk lamp, so that there's at least a dim light in the room. After all, I feel weird about sitting in the dark with my deputy Chief of Staff.

"Leo, I was wondering if the President was available for a few minutes to talk about the education package."

"No."

"Well, I just saw him walking around outside and I thought…" he continues.

"No."

Josh stands in front of my desk, looking down at me seriously. God, the inquisition is coming…

"Why not?"

"It's Saturday, Josh. Not everyone is a workaholic like you and I. We're quite a pair." I respond sarcastically.

"It's just that usually if the President is down here, he's in work mode."

"Well, not today…"

"I'm just saying…" He's nothing less than persistent: a quality that I both admire and loathe about him.

"I know what you're saying, Josh and I'm saying he's not available!" I snap.

Damn, my head hurts. I need to stop yelling.

"O.k. Leo, I heard you." Josh says.

"Good."

Josh is just standing there, staring at me.

"Why don't you go home? Watch a ballgame. Order in some pizza." I ask him.

"I don't know."

"Josh, enjoy life while you can—before you grow up and become one of us." I tell him.

"I'm never going to grow up, Leo. You know that. That would mean I would become you." He smiles.

Damn kid. He's such a smart-ass.

"Would you like to join me, Leo?" Josh quietly asks me.

I smile at him. He never ceases to amaze me. One moment, he's ripping on me, the next he's genuinely concerned for my welfare. We've been through a lot together. I've watched this boy grow into the man he is today. His father would be proud of him if he were still around. In the back of my mind, I realize that I've become sort of a surrogate father to him. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

"Nah, go home."

"Leo…"

"Josh, I just need to wrap up a few loose ends here and then I'm gonna head home myself."

"O.k. But, if you change your mind.."

"Thanks, kid."

"Yeah," he replies.

"Go home, Josh." I encourage him.

"Leo?"

"What do I have to do, throw you out of here?" I ask.

"The President…" he pauses. "I know something's up. Is there anything I should know."

Like I said, he's persistent…and bright.

"Don't worry about it, Josh."

"O.k." he said, not at all convinced. Finally, he left me alone.

Now, where was I? Ah, yes, trying to figure out how to tie up those loose ends.

Josh just asked me if something was up. There is so much up right now, that I can't juggle it all. My head is still aching. I need to close my eyes and rest. Maybe if I put my head in my hands.

A knock at the door. Jesus! Does it ever end?

"Leo, can I come in?" It's my assistant, Margaret. Do none of these people have homes?

"Margaret? Why are you here?"

"I left my purse locked in my desk. I just came to pick it up."

"Oh, ok."

"I got my purse," she says, showing it to me.

"I can see that."

She's rocking back and forth on her heels. She wants to talk. Why me???

"Margaret, is there something I can do for you? Forgive me, I have a killer headache" I have to put my head down again.

"Yes, Leo, there is. I need you to write a recommendation for me," she states.

"Oh, is it review time once again? I'm sorry, Margaret. You know you need to keep on me to get this kinda stuff done. I'll get it done…"

"No, it's not for that. It's for a job interview I have on Tuesday."

My head snaps up. "Margaret?"

"Yeah?"

"Margaret?!" my voice is rising.

"Yeah?"

"MARGARET!"

"Don't yell at me, Leo!"

"Don't yell! Good God, you're telling me that you're interviewing for another job and you expect me to sit here and remain calm?!"

"I didn't think that you'd care."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I implore.

"I didn't think that you'd care. You're running around here. You don't see me and you don't need me."

I need to deal with this now???

"Margaret, " I start, now more calmly. "Margaret, I know things have been crazy around here lately. I know I've been a pain in the ass [there it is again!]. I'm sorry."

"I just don't want to stick around if I can't be of any help. I know that I can be impossible sometimes…" she's starting to cry. Oh, God…

"Margaret, please don't cry. I need you. You keep me sane—even with your own insanity." I stop a moment, and then it dawns on me. I guess I'm not the only one in this White House who has neglected to show those around him his appreciation. "Please, don't go. I need you."

"Really?" she sniffs

"Really. I'll try harder, ok? I'll make it up to you." I say.

"Can I have Monday off?" she asks.

"No." I say. "And you can't have the recommendation, because you're not going anywhere."

She smiles through her tears. "Thank you, Leo. See you Monday," she whispers and heads out the door.

I sink back into my chair. I need to close my eyes. How many more crises can I handle today.

I hear the door open and close. I don't believe it!

That's it, I've had it!! I'm not even opening my eyes for this one

"WHAT IS IT NOW???!" I boom.

"Leo, I've made a decision. I'm resigning."

My eyes are open now as I see Josiah Bartlet standing at the door.


End file.
